Child Safety and Preventing Child Sex Abuse

A parent’s worst nightmare is the fear someone could intentionally cause harm to his/her child. There are varieties of safety programs aimed at teaching children to recognize the dangers of interacting with strangers. Most of the training involves avoidance techniques, such as refusing to approach people inside vehicles, or running away when a stranger tries to talk to them.

There is certainly nothing wrong with this type of training, but studies have shown young children do not yet have the intellectual capacity to know what the word ‘stranger’ means, nor at what point a situation becomes dangerous. As an example, local elementary schools asked a Milwaukie Police Officer to speak about ‘stranger danger’ to kindergarten, first and second grade students.

Nearly all the children described a ‘stranger’ as a dirty, long-haired homeless person living under a bridge. During the safety lesson, each learned that a stranger is anyone the child, or the child’s parents do not know very well. The lesson included instructions on what the children should do if someone stopped in a car tried to talk to them while they walked to school.

Each student eagerly recited the correct answer, “Stay away, run away, and tell a parent or a teacher!” The lesson included examples of how a stranger might try to trick them, such as offering candy, asking for directions, or begging for help to find a lost puppy. Immediately after the lesson, the kids were sent outside for recess.

As the teachers and the police officer watched, an unfamiliar car stopped near the playground. A man inside the car called to the children, asking who wanted some candy. Without the slightest hesitation, 85 percent of the children ran over to the man inside the car! The man in the car was part of a pre-arranged test to determine if the children had retained or even understood what had just been taught in class.

This experiment showed that although young children could repeat information learned, they did not yet have the capacity to comprehend how or when that information is useful. The Oregon Chapter of The Red Cross suggests that a responsible 10-year-old has the decision making skills necessary to baby-sit.

Oregon State Law specifies children less than 10 years of age cannot be left unsupervised. Children rely on their parents or other adult guardians to keep them safe from harm. It is the parent or other adult guardians’ responsibility to ensure their children are properly supervised at all times.

Once the child has reached a maturity level allowing more freedom and less parental supervision, it is still the parents’ responsibility to know where and with whom their children interact.

Although unpopular with the teens and ‘tweens, to minimize risky behavior, parents should know the answers to these questions:

• With whom are you going?
• Where are you going?
• What is the age of your friend?
• Have I met the parents of your friend?
• Have I inspected the safety and cleanliness of the home where the child wants to visit?
• Do the parents of my child’s friends follow safety ground rules and social conduct similar to mine?
• Have I imposed a reasonable curfew that reduces the risk my child could get hurt?
• How great is the risk my child could be exposed to alcohol or other recreational drugs?
• Am I confident my child knows what to do if someone touches them in an inappropriate manner?
  • Does my child understand the difference between a good touch and a bad touch?
  • Does my child know its O.K. to tell me about it, and that I won’t be angry?

It is in our nature to fear and distrust strangers. Much of what our children learn about safety is related to stranger avoidance. Unfortunately, statistics prove children are physically and sexually assaulted or exploited more often by family members, relatives, and long-time friends.

The majority of criminal investigations related to child physical or sexual abuse involve adults known to the family, or relatives the child trusted. Although this is an uncomfortable topic to discuss with our children, it is imperative children receive the information and support necessary to minimize the risk of physical or sexual abuse.

If your child confides that he or she is a victim of sexual abuse, immediately contact the police. Most important is prompt medical evaluation to treat any physical injuries and reduce the risk of certain types of communicable diseases to which the child may have been exposed.

Certain types of evidence dissipate over time. Details of the event are sometimes forgotten or tainted by outside influences unless promptly documented by a police or medical person qualified to perform the interview. Counseling programs are available to support the victim of such trauma, and help the family cope with the potential ongoing consequences surrounding such an incident.